Experiencing Day of the Dead

9 11 2022

Lake Patzcuaro, Michoacân, Mexico, 2022

According to legend, Day of the Dead/Dia de los Muertos is the one time of the year that the dead can cross over and return to the land of the living. Families gather in graveyards and erect altars (“ofrendas”) in their homes with photos and favorite possessions as offerings to the departed. This is not a day of sadness but a day of celebration because loved ones awake and celebrate with the living. This celebration in Mexico can be traced back to the indigenous peoples such as the Olmec, Zapotec, Mixtec, Mexican, Aztec, Maya, P’urhépecha, and Totonac. Rituals commemorating the deaths of ancestors have been observed by these civilizations for as long as 2500–3000 years. 

This ancient tradition, was brought into the consciousness of the general public with the 2015 James Bond thriller, Spectre and its opening scene featuring Mexico City’s Day of the Dead parade, and, more recently, Disney’s Coco. Communities and tour operators have capitalized on this popularity, offering tours, art shows, parades, markets, Catrina contests, face painting, and a plethora of activities.

I’ve wanted to experience this celebration ever since moving to Mexico well over fifteen years’ ago. I did not, however, wish
to intrude on families honoring their loved ones, so I consulted my friend and tour guide Betsy McNair* for her recommendations.

I dressed respectfully, limited my cemetery visits to daytime hours, and did not go with a group.

Nueva de Panteón – Patzcuaro

Having a home in Patzcuaro, I first visited my “local” cemetery, Nueva de Panteón, on the afternoon of November 1 to observe the preparations for the return of children and innocents.

All ages gathered to sweep, plant, place bouquets, repaint a marker – and to play music and sing, eat Pan de Muertos (special sweet bread for the occasion) and the favorite foods of their loved ones.

A three-piece combo around a grave played and sang as a young man repainted the cross.

Families sitting on graves, chatting, hugging….

A guitarist serenading his family….

In one corner, a mass being performed….

Suddenly, in English, “Where are you from?” And I chat with a young man in his 30s who says he’s from Patzcuaro but now lives in South Carolina. He returns every year for this celebration with his family.

The next day, November 2, friends and I drove around Lake Patzcuaro to immerse ourselves in the preparations and celebrations of several indigenous Purépecha villages and cemeteries as the living prepared for the return of adult spirits this night.

For many, Spanish was their second language, Purépecha being their primary.

Each village cemetery I visited had its own “feel” and vibe.” 

All were joyous.

All were an abundance of flowers and color and community!

Tzintzuntzan

First stop, because this village is on the way to the Lake, was Tzintzuntzan – by far the most invaded by tourists. The highway through the city was blocked off, tour buses lined the road, makeshift parking lots appeared, armed/masked police poured out of a large van. Tented booths offered tacos, gorditas, flowers, ribbons, tin cans (some painted) as vases.

Our first on-the-road Michoacán Cemetery Experience!

Somewhat overwhelming.  Impossible to describe.

Tzitzuntzan’s cemetery spans both sides of the highway, although we took in only one. Marigolds, candles, baskets of food, even a campfire – and people! — multitudes of people, both participants and tourists  – as far as the eye could see.

Tombstones, markers, and elaborate structures covered in flowers, ribbons, enormous bouquets, gigantic photos of loved ones, baskets of breads and tortillas, corn, beer, candy, fruits….

Leaving town, we weaved our way around the back streets of Tzintzuntzan to get away from the masses. The farther we drove, refreshingly, only local traffic — no tour buses.

Santa Fe de la Laguna

I’d often driven “through” Santa Fe de la Laguna many times on the way to somewhere else and not been impressed. Stands on either side of the highway tout mounds of cheap, mass-produced mugs, pots, and garish figurines. I understand, however, that artisans here make lovely black pottery.

We’d been informed that the Purépechas of this village believe that the spirits of those who die within the year go home rather than to the cemetery, so families build private alters to welcome them.

Thus, we parked and began to wander the mostly deserted streets.

With this backdrop of traditional adobe walls and houses, Purépecha women in native dress juxtapositioned against teens in jeans and tee-shirts — an occasional drunk, asleep under an eave.

A garland of marigolds in the distance signaled the zocolo (town square). As zocolos go, it was somewhat stark, with only a few stands of vendors.

Continuing our meander, we peeked into an open door decked with flowers. A woman gestured us inside the courtyard. Our jaws dropped at the opulence and art before us: A house built entirely of flowers and pottery; mounds of bananas, oranges, apples; candles, candles, candles; a cross, of course, and pictures of the loved one.

On the way out, we offered a donation, which they refused.

One street was particularly ornate – with a large-screen TV and sound system. This was a house and shop celebrating Mama Coco, the human model for Disney’s Coco, who died this year at age 103. A lovely alter and plenty of tacky souvenirs for purchase.

San Jeronomo

Driving the lake highway, we see a narrow turnoff lined with cars and snake our way between, parking in a bed of nettles, behind a pick-up truck. It’s a cacophony of children, bands, food booths, bouncy castles….

A totally different “feel” from Tzintzuntzan with its tour buses. It appeared everyone knew everyone of this small community.

I tried to be unobtrusive. However, being the only non-brown face made this somewhat difficult. I was relieved that most people welcomed me and my taking photographs of their creations honoring loved ones. A smile helps. A man sitting under a tree, looking wistfully at the mound in front of him -– In my poor Spanish, I ask,” Is that your wife?” “No,” he replied, “my baby.”   “Lo siento. esta es muy bonita, muy especial. “(I am so sorry. This is very beautiful, very special.)

A smiling young girl, around ten, approached me and said, in English, “Hello.” I respond, “Excellent English!” We chat a while – she in English and I in my basic Spanish. As we say goodbye, I ask to take her photograph. Later, she finds me to offer a gift of Pan de Muertos.

In the adjoining church, I expect to see more alters, but instead were stacks of bananas and fruit, available to the parishioners.

Not wanting to exit through the gauntlet of cars from the highway, we drove on through the town, following directions of the GPS, eventually getting, once again, to paved roads.

Panteón de San Andrés Tziróndaro

Again – -an entirely different experience. 

San Andrés was an exhibition of “community” at its finest.

Most graves were merely mounds, and numerous tiny ones, among the few tombs and structures — unmarked but for petals of marigolds and perhaps a candle or favorite candy or drink. One wide sidewalk was lined with imprints of crosses scattered with marigold petals.

Street dogs prowled among the gatherings, hoping for a dropped crumb or handout.

A man, there with his large family, smiles and points, “Mi esposa” (my wife).

I’m approached by a young man, speaking English, “Where are you from?” As we talk, he says, “Thank you for coming. It’s people like you who need to come, and photograph, and help others understand.” He writes his name in my notebook so I can tag him on Facebook, but I can’t find his page.

Moving On

We head back toward Patzcuaro, passing other villages, each with its own celebration —  parades, markets, bands, exhibitions, ceremonies, bouncy-castles for the kiddos, dances, and of course, families gathered to await departed loved ones.

I reflect on my own/America’s day of remembrance, Memorial Day. It’s a nice reminder — bringing flowers to the cemetery – a ritual revered by my mother – and honoring and remembering Veterans and others who have passed before us. I realize that Mexico’s Day of the Dead, however, is not merely about remembering and honoring, it is actually about connection, — connection not only with those who have passed but also with family and community. 

With the approaching dusk, people are settling in for the night as candles flicker against the golden petals.

Day of the Dead (“Dia de los Muertos”), is a two-day event.
November 1
Dedicated to children and innocents
“Día de los Inocentes” or Day of the Little Angels “Día de los Angelitos”
November 2
Adults return
Day of the Dead or “Dia de Muertos” or All Souls Day.
Samhain
Mexico’s Day of the Dead coincides with the ancient Celtic festival, Samhain, to mark the end of the harvest and to remember the dead. According to Irish mythology, Samhain was a time when doorways to the spirit world were opened, allowing the dead to visit the living world.

Special thanks to Betsy McNair, who is extremely knowledgeable about Mexico and offers personalized tours. Find her information at https://www.facebook.com/MyMexicoTours.





We Did It!

23 08 2018

Since the last installment – we are governmentally sanctioned – married!!

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Appropriately enough –- While my granddaughter and I were ooh-ing and ahhhh-ing at July 4th fireworks from a rooftop in New York City, Peter received the news of the approval. This irony of the timing is not lost on me — An American marrying a Brit, and the approval comes on our Day of Independence from England.

Hmmmm….serendipity.

As a flash-back – Before officials would interview us, we had to determine the wedding date and venue, with the caveat that we could later change the date but not the venue. Thus, we somewhat randomly settled on August 28, which was more than 70 days past the interview – because the government may have needed that much time to set up more interviews and perhaps a home visit.

We prepared invitations and planned an August 28 Pub Party for friends from throughout England. But Life somewhat interfered, with family illnesses and pressing needs. So with The Government’s Blessing, we moved the date to August 9 followed by a small celebration for local friends. We’re planning a series of smaller get-togethers as we travel to different areas of the country – culminating with a ceremony and celebration at our home in Guanajuato next summer.

PeterMary August 9

People asked, “What are your colors?” Well. My ensemble was aubergine (eggplant) and pewter, which sounds so much more posh than purple and gray. However, we didn’t have “colors” as much as a theme – Clothing purchased from charity shops. (My Elisa Cavaletti label jacket was by Italian designer Daniella Dalavalle.) Big Hats for the women and a Wild Waistcoat for Peter. We picked hydrangeas and lavender that morning from various gardens in Cedar Park where we live.

To paraphrase from a dear friend: “I may be old – I can’t help that. I may be ugly – I can’t help that either. But I can still dress up!”

August 9 was perfect — friends and family, ceremony, reception, weather….

We’d selected the Registry Office Basic Ceremony for ourselves and two witnesses. I was a bit dubious, expecting only a “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” quickie service based on the informational brochure:

  • The Superintendent Registrar will say the preliminary announcements.
  • You will be required to say one form of declaration and one form of marriage contract out loud in the presence of two witnesses plus the Superintendent Registrar and the Registrar.
  • You have the option to exchange one or two rings and the option to make a promise to one another.
  • The Superintendent Registrar will announce that you are married and ask you to sign the marriage register.
  • There will follow a limited photo opportunity.

Not particularly Warm and Fuzzy.

But the ceremony was actually very meaningful. The registrar who had helped us through the interrogation interview process was the one who conducted the ceremony. And even though the rules dictated only two witnesses in the room, we did, of course, convince them to allow in two more very special friends/family.

Another brochure stated: The short ceremony will last approximately ten minutes in the presence of the bride and groom and their witnesses. There is a limited time for a photograph of a mock up of the signing of the register.

 Yes, they did let our friends take pictures in the office – but there was also a garden for celebration photos. Who knew?

Had we known, we’d have planned a bit differently. We bought bubbles rather than confetti because – well, surely no one can complain about a few disappearing bubbles. The hobby store was out of wedding bubbles, but we figured that little kid ones were just as good. These, however, had the consistency of glue, adhering to our clothes and drying to look like dandruff. Margot did bring a popper of glitter confetti — just as she snapped it, a gust of wind puffed it backwards onto her instead. (Note to self: stand up-wind.)

Needless to say, we all laughed a lot.

As for the reception – what could be more appropriate in England than celebrating at a pub?

We’d arranged with our favorite pub, The Mussel Inn, to prepare a salad and ploughman’s lunch for us to “break fast” before the arrival of guests.

The meal that follows your wedding ceremony is known as the wedding breakfast. The name comes from the past when traditionally the wedding ceremony was held after mass; the whole wedding party would fast before mass, and so for the bride and groom this was their first meal. Today the name is kept as a reminder that this is the first meal for the newly married bride and groom, the first meal after the ceremony as man and wife, and so the name breakfast is kept.

They greeted us with a complimentary Gin ‘n Tonic for me and a Guinness for Peter. Thus, the celebrations began….

Persistence pays off.

Life is grand.

 

 

 

 





Becoming 70 ~ Not over any hill yet

19 02 2016

Recently, for some reason – Could be my upcoming 70th birthday? – I’m surrounded by reminders of age– a topic I’ve not actively entertained since reaching that milestone of official “adulthood” at age 21. (Although I did have a bout of depression when I was 25: quarter of a century. Yikes!)

But now. Approaching 70?! WTF??!! That’s old.

“Fifty is the new thirty.” “Sixty is the new forty.” But seventy??!

Seventy.

Others’ perceptions of aging — or my reality?

One of this year’s many Birth Month Celebrations on Becoming 70. Or, as my daughters put it: Approaching 21° C

At 70, my life is certainly not “over.” I inherited longevity genes. My mom died at 96 – healthy until the week prior to her death. Lucid ‘til the last day, she reminded me to pay her estimated taxes. Her mother died at 98.

I plan to live every day until the day I don’t.

Zipline over Mexico’s Copper Canyon during my five-day solo train trip a few years ago. “I could not, at any age, be content to take my place in a corner by fireside and simply look on.” Eleanor Roosevelt

I am, however, noticing disturbing bodily evolutions: in rummaging through family photos – I am my mother – my nose becoming a hook, the errant gray hair on my chin mole, neck wrinkles, crazy knots on my knuckles, thick around the middle…. Not that these are totally bad things – but – for God’s sake – -this was my mother. She was old.

I’ve lived a fulfilled life of joys, a few disasters (lessons), and exceptional adventures and memories. Yet – at 70, I’m not resting on these dubious laurels and contemplating past glories from the comfort of my rocker. I’m busy creating new memories in my glorious Now.

Let’s do another 5K run/walk – ride a river raft through the Grand Canyon – or do another just-for-fun Mud Run. Maybe climb another Colorado 14er.

Takes me a tad longer now, but I can still do it.

I travel. A lot. Maximizing standby flight “mom privileges” through my daughter with American Airlines — and particularly relish the quality time  with my incredible Granddaughters.

“There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren

There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren

I’m taking language classes, practice yoga and Pilates, and regularly trek up/down the hills of my city.

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I have a younger partner/boyfriend/significant-other. And yes. Peter, my Boy Toy, and I are sexually active. (Shame on Kaiser who stops providing pap smears with annual check-ups at age 60!)

Peter and I plan to fly to England to visit his sister, take a river barge, and explore Europe. We want to visit Viet Nam and Thailand. We’ve driven across magnificent Mexico several times and, this year, we will experience more of its off-the-beaten-track side roads and mountain paths astride his Moto Guzzi motorcycle.

We have intelligent, well-traveled, interesting friends of diverse ages and nationalities with whom we regularly share stimulating conversation as well as travel adventures.

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We laugh. A lot. Every day.

We live on the side of a hill in the vibrant city of Guanajuato in central Mexico. With seven universities and Festival Cervantino, the largest music and arts festival in all of North America, Guanajuato has an abundance of young energy. Yet, my hero is the lady hobbling up the callejón/alley using her walker.

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Ten years ago, to honor my 60th birthday, I got my first (and only) tattoo. Not certain what “act of rebellion” I’ll do at 70. Perhaps I’ll use my travel benefits to circle the globe.

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Tattoo to celebrate Becoming 60.

No. I’m not ignoring the possible physical limitations of the future. I am not, however, defining myself by them.

To date, each of my decades has surpassed the one before. I’m not over any hill yet. I’m just approaching the pinnacle and anticipate exploring the adventures and peaks ahead.

Exploring peaks. Literally. This month, to experience the hundreds-of-thousands of Monarch butterflies in Michoacán, Mexico, friends and I rode horseback up the mountain Cerro Pelón  and then, at around 10,000 feet, hiked the last kilometer which was was too steep for the horse.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Satchel Paige

Inside, I’m the same me I was at age 30, 40, 50.

Or not.

Actually, I’m an ever-improving version of me.

Since I’m in a reflecting mode, I’ll honor a few of the life-altering shifts of recent years. My catalyst for major change originated with a motivational seminar which led to Master Mind groups, introspection, study, and gut-wrenching work to release ridiculous guilt. This allowed me to become the “Inevitable Me” whom I love unconditionally. Then — making the leap to sell my Colorado home and possessions to move to Mexico — enjoying being an unencumbered single woman living in a beachside paradise – then saying “Yes” to sharing the remainder of my life with the man who is truly my joy, inspiration, and soul mate — and moving to Guanajuato, a city snuggled within the Sierra Madre mountains of central Mexico.

And now?

Among the activities, I’m gifting myself time to appreciate each day’s abundance and joy.

Peter and I relish “kitten time” with two little darlings we rescued from the back of an abandoned pick-up truck. Mimi Mews (my Muse?) will snuggle down, mew a bit, pummel my neck with her soft paws, then stretch her little toes. Very endearing. But, even ten years ago, I would probably not have paused to allow this, let alone appreciate it.

Mimi Mews

Mimi Mews

And flowers. We enjoy our Pot Garden on the patio. No, not that kind of pot, although we did have a healthy plant prior to harvest.

Yes. Life is different now than when I was 30.

It’s better. Much better.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” George Burns

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass





Simplicity

22 09 2015

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We’re in Mahahual, Quintana Roo – practically the southern-most point of Mexico before entering Belize – working with a little piece of beachfront bliss I’ve had for over 20 years.  (Tales to tell once this project is complete.)

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There’s a reason August-September is “low season” in Mexico’s Riviera Maya and Costa Maya areas – hot, muggy with an abundance of mosquitoes and other biting insects. But the peace, beauty, tranquility, and lovely people are unsurpassed.

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This charming chapel sits at the town’s exit to the south….

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It seats 10 – 12….

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Rather than gilt and gold, this chapel of the people features pottery and plastic.

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Gifts from those who have few possessions but much devotion and love….

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Clare Boothe Luce





Publicos Baños

25 01 2015

Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.

Kurt Vonnegut

For the past year or so, Peter and I have been traveling across Mexico – driving from Sonora, the northern-most state, south through Sinaloa and Nayarit to our home in Guanajuato in the central mountainous area…journeys to the artisans of Michoacán…Puebla…Oaxaca…through Tabasco, Campache and Chiapas…across Yucatan and to my other home in Quintana Roo on the eastern coast. Are some of these areas “dangerous”? Yes. According to “national alerts,” and certainly if you listen to USA mainstream media. We travel in daylight (usually) and stay “aware” of our surroundings – sometimes on the major highways, yet more often on the minor roads, bouncing across the frequent topes (speed bumps) through countryside and villages. DSC_5218 Most recently, we traveled from Guanajuato to the southern coast of Oaxaca: Bahia de Santa Cruz. About a 20-hour trip. Our route took us through the Colonial cities of Puebla and Oaxaca; Matatalan, famous for mezcal and pulche; San Martin Tilcajete, world-renowned for exquisite alebrijes; and mountains thick with evergreens juxtaposed against stands of bamboo and banana trees, washed-out roads, and beautiful people.

Trip Route

Trip Route

I haven’t been blogging. But now…time to share –

The beauty of this diverse country.

The idiosyncrasies.

The people.

My impressions.

I hope you enjoy these journeys, as well…. From the Only In Mexico department –- Peter and I are driving through Tlacolula, a small pueblo in the Mexican state of Oaxaca, when we smell roasting cocoa beans before even seeing the Chocolate Shop….

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We’re looking for a restroom, and, conveniently, Tlacolula has a well-manned Baños Publicos. Definitely “well-manned” — three men, waiting to collect my 2 pesos (about 14 cents), dispense the allotted paper squares, and – get this –present me with a printed receipt. Building. Attendants. Electric lights. Running water. Allotment of necessary paper. And. Printed receipt. All for 14 cents.

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I love Mexico!





When Life Flows….

5 12 2014

When one manifests Joy, life flows — flow with it.

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My Love and I are now happily creating lives together in Guanajuato — a delightful 500-year-old city in the mountains of central Mexico. Thus, as delightful as it has been –the time is right to release my beach condo and the life I created in Puerto Morelos on the Riviera Maya of Quintana Roo.

So. Following an afternoon of camaraderie on the beach, I’m meeting with my friend and Realtor, Kim Temple, to list my condo-home. Kim looks and is, very Professional. Business-like. Somewhat serious. Explaining procedures — when Jenine, a friend from the beach afternoon, knocks on the open door – “Mary? You here? Robert and I just met these people who are looking for a place to buy in Puerto Morelos. Can we come in?” Of course.

With great flair, enter Robert, Jenine, their two new friends Sandra and Tony – originally from Belize and now from Washington state – along with their taxi driver Cesar – all enjoying beers. Being out of beer, we break out wine. Jenine is enthusiastic and animated — showing, describing, sales-pitching my condo – ousting our friends Steve and Nelly from the guest bedroom. They join the party.

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Admist the pandemonium, washing machine repairmen arrive.

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Noisy, joyful, chaos ensues.

Poor Kim.

We decide to meet tomorrow – papers so far unsigned. Kim leaves.

The party continues. More wine. The taxi driver does a Beer Run. Music with Peter on guitar, Robert on harmonica. Stories. Laughter.

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As our new friends get up to leave, Tony collapses.

Oh my.

Too much partying throughout the day?

He’s dragged/carried to the couch for TLC, ice pack, and water.

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The party continues. Tony recovers.

The party morphs to El Bistro for homemade Italian.

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Did the condo sell?

Not yet.

But it will — with joy, ease, and grace.

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When one manifests Joy, life flows — flow with it.





The Camote Man

9 06 2014

“Enjoy the little things in life,

for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

Kurt Vonnegut

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Peter and I had about given up on seeing The Camote Man again – when – while enjoying each other, wine, and emerging stars following a pink-sky sunset– an unmistakable screech penetrates the far-off cacophony of barking dogs and the occasional enthusiastic drummer .

“As the lights come on in Guanajuato they are reflected into the night, and we call them stars….” Dennis Pekus

As the lights come on in Guanajuato they are reflected into the night, and we call them stars….
Dennis Pekus

Each Mexican entrepreneur has his own distinctive marketing technique – The lute of the afilador who sharpens knives at your doorstep. Clang-clang on the tank by the gas company rep. “Aaaagggguuuuaaaaa” sings out the water guy. And – amazing to us – is not only listening but watching these men effortlessly heft their wares throughout the severe slopes of Guanajuato, over 6000 feet above sea level. How does that wiry little guy carry four of those five-gallon water garrafónes?

One of many callejones of Guanajuato.

One of many (steep) callejónes/alleys of Guanajuato.

This night, The Camote Man is obviously below us on a better-populated street: Calle Sangre de Cristo. We live far above, near The Panoramica which encircles this historic city. Will he venture this far? We start whistling and yelling to the universe — and anyone else who’s listening: “Arriba! Arriba! Up! Up!”

It was a couple of months ago when we first experienced the taste sensation – not to mention, the visual delight – of a camote (sweet potato) wood-fire-roasted in a Stanley-Steamer-looking device — coals glowing — pushed amidst the callejónes.

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We are in luck this night. The whistle intensifies. Adults and children emerge from darkened doors, 20 pesos in hand, to receive a steaming camote dripping la leche condensada azucarada and canela. We pass on the sweeten condensed milk but request extra cinnamon – then retire inside to slather on mounds of butter and pour more wine.

A delectable camote for only 20 pesos -- about $1.50 USD.

A delectable camote for only 20 pesos — about $1.50 USD.

 Life is grand. We are grateful.

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