Experiencing Day of the Dead

9 11 2022

Lake Patzcuaro, Michoacân, Mexico, 2022

According to legend, Day of the Dead/Dia de los Muertos is the one time of the year that the dead can cross over and return to the land of the living. Families gather in graveyards and erect altars (“ofrendas”) in their homes with photos and favorite possessions as offerings to the departed. This is not a day of sadness but a day of celebration because loved ones awake and celebrate with the living. This celebration in Mexico can be traced back to the indigenous peoples such as the Olmec, Zapotec, Mixtec, Mexican, Aztec, Maya, P’urhépecha, and Totonac. Rituals commemorating the deaths of ancestors have been observed by these civilizations for as long as 2500–3000 years. 

This ancient tradition, was brought into the consciousness of the general public with the 2015 James Bond thriller, Spectre and its opening scene featuring Mexico City’s Day of the Dead parade, and, more recently, Disney’s Coco. Communities and tour operators have capitalized on this popularity, offering tours, art shows, parades, markets, Catrina contests, face painting, and a plethora of activities.

I’ve wanted to experience this celebration ever since moving to Mexico well over fifteen years’ ago. I did not, however, wish
to intrude on families honoring their loved ones, so I consulted my friend and tour guide Betsy McNair* for her recommendations.

I dressed respectfully, limited my cemetery visits to daytime hours, and did not go with a group.

Nueva de Panteón – Patzcuaro

Having a home in Patzcuaro, I first visited my “local” cemetery, Nueva de Panteón, on the afternoon of November 1 to observe the preparations for the return of children and innocents.

All ages gathered to sweep, plant, place bouquets, repaint a marker – and to play music and sing, eat Pan de Muertos (special sweet bread for the occasion) and the favorite foods of their loved ones.

A three-piece combo around a grave played and sang as a young man repainted the cross.

Families sitting on graves, chatting, hugging….

A guitarist serenading his family….

In one corner, a mass being performed….

Suddenly, in English, “Where are you from?” And I chat with a young man in his 30s who says he’s from Patzcuaro but now lives in South Carolina. He returns every year for this celebration with his family.

The next day, November 2, friends and I drove around Lake Patzcuaro to immerse ourselves in the preparations and celebrations of several indigenous Purépecha villages and cemeteries as the living prepared for the return of adult spirits this night.

For many, Spanish was their second language, Purépecha being their primary.

Each village cemetery I visited had its own “feel” and vibe.” 

All were joyous.

All were an abundance of flowers and color and community!

Tzintzuntzan

First stop, because this village is on the way to the Lake, was Tzintzuntzan – by far the most invaded by tourists. The highway through the city was blocked off, tour buses lined the road, makeshift parking lots appeared, armed/masked police poured out of a large van. Tented booths offered tacos, gorditas, flowers, ribbons, tin cans (some painted) as vases.

Our first on-the-road Michoacán Cemetery Experience!

Somewhat overwhelming.  Impossible to describe.

Tzitzuntzan’s cemetery spans both sides of the highway, although we took in only one. Marigolds, candles, baskets of food, even a campfire – and people! — multitudes of people, both participants and tourists  – as far as the eye could see.

Tombstones, markers, and elaborate structures covered in flowers, ribbons, enormous bouquets, gigantic photos of loved ones, baskets of breads and tortillas, corn, beer, candy, fruits….

Leaving town, we weaved our way around the back streets of Tzintzuntzan to get away from the masses. The farther we drove, refreshingly, only local traffic — no tour buses.

Santa Fe de la Laguna

I’d often driven “through” Santa Fe de la Laguna many times on the way to somewhere else and not been impressed. Stands on either side of the highway tout mounds of cheap, mass-produced mugs, pots, and garish figurines. I understand, however, that artisans here make lovely black pottery.

We’d been informed that the Purépechas of this village believe that the spirits of those who die within the year go home rather than to the cemetery, so families build private alters to welcome them.

Thus, we parked and began to wander the mostly deserted streets.

With this backdrop of traditional adobe walls and houses, Purépecha women in native dress juxtapositioned against teens in jeans and tee-shirts — an occasional drunk, asleep under an eave.

A garland of marigolds in the distance signaled the zocolo (town square). As zocolos go, it was somewhat stark, with only a few stands of vendors.

Continuing our meander, we peeked into an open door decked with flowers. A woman gestured us inside the courtyard. Our jaws dropped at the opulence and art before us: A house built entirely of flowers and pottery; mounds of bananas, oranges, apples; candles, candles, candles; a cross, of course, and pictures of the loved one.

On the way out, we offered a donation, which they refused.

One street was particularly ornate – with a large-screen TV and sound system. This was a house and shop celebrating Mama Coco, the human model for Disney’s Coco, who died this year at age 103. A lovely alter and plenty of tacky souvenirs for purchase.

San Jeronomo

Driving the lake highway, we see a narrow turnoff lined with cars and snake our way between, parking in a bed of nettles, behind a pick-up truck. It’s a cacophony of children, bands, food booths, bouncy castles….

A totally different “feel” from Tzintzuntzan with its tour buses. It appeared everyone knew everyone of this small community.

I tried to be unobtrusive. However, being the only non-brown face made this somewhat difficult. I was relieved that most people welcomed me and my taking photographs of their creations honoring loved ones. A smile helps. A man sitting under a tree, looking wistfully at the mound in front of him -– In my poor Spanish, I ask,” Is that your wife?” “No,” he replied, “my baby.”   “Lo siento. esta es muy bonita, muy especial. “(I am so sorry. This is very beautiful, very special.)

A smiling young girl, around ten, approached me and said, in English, “Hello.” I respond, “Excellent English!” We chat a while – she in English and I in my basic Spanish. As we say goodbye, I ask to take her photograph. Later, she finds me to offer a gift of Pan de Muertos.

In the adjoining church, I expect to see more alters, but instead were stacks of bananas and fruit, available to the parishioners.

Not wanting to exit through the gauntlet of cars from the highway, we drove on through the town, following directions of the GPS, eventually getting, once again, to paved roads.

Panteón de San Andrés Tziróndaro

Again – -an entirely different experience. 

San Andrés was an exhibition of “community” at its finest.

Most graves were merely mounds, and numerous tiny ones, among the few tombs and structures — unmarked but for petals of marigolds and perhaps a candle or favorite candy or drink. One wide sidewalk was lined with imprints of crosses scattered with marigold petals.

Street dogs prowled among the gatherings, hoping for a dropped crumb or handout.

A man, there with his large family, smiles and points, “Mi esposa” (my wife).

I’m approached by a young man, speaking English, “Where are you from?” As we talk, he says, “Thank you for coming. It’s people like you who need to come, and photograph, and help others understand.” He writes his name in my notebook so I can tag him on Facebook, but I can’t find his page.

Moving On

We head back toward Patzcuaro, passing other villages, each with its own celebration —  parades, markets, bands, exhibitions, ceremonies, bouncy-castles for the kiddos, dances, and of course, families gathered to await departed loved ones.

I reflect on my own/America’s day of remembrance, Memorial Day. It’s a nice reminder — bringing flowers to the cemetery – a ritual revered by my mother – and honoring and remembering Veterans and others who have passed before us. I realize that Mexico’s Day of the Dead, however, is not merely about remembering and honoring, it is actually about connection, — connection not only with those who have passed but also with family and community. 

With the approaching dusk, people are settling in for the night as candles flicker against the golden petals.

Day of the Dead (“Dia de los Muertos”), is a two-day event.
November 1
Dedicated to children and innocents
“Día de los Inocentes” or Day of the Little Angels “Día de los Angelitos”
November 2
Adults return
Day of the Dead or “Dia de Muertos” or All Souls Day.
Samhain
Mexico’s Day of the Dead coincides with the ancient Celtic festival, Samhain, to mark the end of the harvest and to remember the dead. According to Irish mythology, Samhain was a time when doorways to the spirit world were opened, allowing the dead to visit the living world.

Special thanks to Betsy McNair, who is extremely knowledgeable about Mexico and offers personalized tours. Find her information at https://www.facebook.com/MyMexicoTours.





We Did It!

23 08 2018

Since the last installment – we are governmentally sanctioned – married!!

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Appropriately enough –- While my granddaughter and I were ooh-ing and ahhhh-ing at July 4th fireworks from a rooftop in New York City, Peter received the news of the approval. This irony of the timing is not lost on me — An American marrying a Brit, and the approval comes on our Day of Independence from England.

Hmmmm….serendipity.

As a flash-back – Before officials would interview us, we had to determine the wedding date and venue, with the caveat that we could later change the date but not the venue. Thus, we somewhat randomly settled on August 28, which was more than 70 days past the interview – because the government may have needed that much time to set up more interviews and perhaps a home visit.

We prepared invitations and planned an August 28 Pub Party for friends from throughout England. But Life somewhat interfered, with family illnesses and pressing needs. So with The Government’s Blessing, we moved the date to August 9 followed by a small celebration for local friends. We’re planning a series of smaller get-togethers as we travel to different areas of the country – culminating with a ceremony and celebration at our home in Guanajuato next summer.

PeterMary August 9

People asked, “What are your colors?” Well. My ensemble was aubergine (eggplant) and pewter, which sounds so much more posh than purple and gray. However, we didn’t have “colors” as much as a theme – Clothing purchased from charity shops. (My Elisa Cavaletti label jacket was by Italian designer Daniella Dalavalle.) Big Hats for the women and a Wild Waistcoat for Peter. We picked hydrangeas and lavender that morning from various gardens in Cedar Park where we live.

To paraphrase from a dear friend: “I may be old – I can’t help that. I may be ugly – I can’t help that either. But I can still dress up!”

August 9 was perfect — friends and family, ceremony, reception, weather….

We’d selected the Registry Office Basic Ceremony for ourselves and two witnesses. I was a bit dubious, expecting only a “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” quickie service based on the informational brochure:

  • The Superintendent Registrar will say the preliminary announcements.
  • You will be required to say one form of declaration and one form of marriage contract out loud in the presence of two witnesses plus the Superintendent Registrar and the Registrar.
  • You have the option to exchange one or two rings and the option to make a promise to one another.
  • The Superintendent Registrar will announce that you are married and ask you to sign the marriage register.
  • There will follow a limited photo opportunity.

Not particularly Warm and Fuzzy.

But the ceremony was actually very meaningful. The registrar who had helped us through the interrogation interview process was the one who conducted the ceremony. And even though the rules dictated only two witnesses in the room, we did, of course, convince them to allow in two more very special friends/family.

Another brochure stated: The short ceremony will last approximately ten minutes in the presence of the bride and groom and their witnesses. There is a limited time for a photograph of a mock up of the signing of the register.

 Yes, they did let our friends take pictures in the office – but there was also a garden for celebration photos. Who knew?

Had we known, we’d have planned a bit differently. We bought bubbles rather than confetti because – well, surely no one can complain about a few disappearing bubbles. The hobby store was out of wedding bubbles, but we figured that little kid ones were just as good. These, however, had the consistency of glue, adhering to our clothes and drying to look like dandruff. Margot did bring a popper of glitter confetti — just as she snapped it, a gust of wind puffed it backwards onto her instead. (Note to self: stand up-wind.)

Needless to say, we all laughed a lot.

As for the reception – what could be more appropriate in England than celebrating at a pub?

We’d arranged with our favorite pub, The Mussel Inn, to prepare a salad and ploughman’s lunch for us to “break fast” before the arrival of guests.

The meal that follows your wedding ceremony is known as the wedding breakfast. The name comes from the past when traditionally the wedding ceremony was held after mass; the whole wedding party would fast before mass, and so for the bride and groom this was their first meal. Today the name is kept as a reminder that this is the first meal for the newly married bride and groom, the first meal after the ceremony as man and wife, and so the name breakfast is kept.

They greeted us with a complimentary Gin ‘n Tonic for me and a Guinness for Peter. Thus, the celebrations began….

Persistence pays off.

Life is grand.

 

 

 

 





Should be simple….

19 05 2018

Peter and I have decided to get married. Finally.

Why would anyone our age bother with marriage?

We’ve been friends since 2011 — and lovers living together in Guanajuato since 2013. We’ve talked about getting married. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. But — why?

Pragmatically, marriage makes sense. Peter and I want to make decisions for each other without legal hassles of “relationship.” He’s a British citizen. I’m an American. We live in Mexico. We travel the world. His children live in Mexico. Mine live in the USA. I’m 70-fucking-2 years old. He’s five years younger. Anything could happen – from old-age maladies to being run over by a bus.

I can’t imagine life without him.

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We want to do this in England, his country of citizenship where we own a “holiday home” in Devonshire, on the beach of Plymouth Sound overlooking Cornwall – where his sister, his cousin, and childhood friends live. When we return to Mexico, we’ll have a Vows Ceremony with other family and friends – and, of course, a huge celebration.

Silly me. I thought making the decision was the hard part. After that — we just get a marriage license and Do It.

WRONG.

We don’t plan to live in England permanently. I’m merely a tourist to this country who wants to marry a Brit. Not so in the opinion of The Government who, apparently, views me as an immigrant planning to suck the country dry.

Interesting — being on the receiving side of The Immigrant Issue.

The official government website has a Requirements section for those they envision as people like me. Confusing – particularly since I’m not trying to “immigrate” to England. Which of the multitude of requirements actually addresses our situation?

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Cousin Margot to the rescue! Margot, who lives in Plymouth, actually talked with Someone Who Knows. She set up our required appointment with a Registry Official who even provided a follow-up email with bullet-points and yellow highlights — outlining the specific documents necessary for our appointment to apply for marriage in the UK.

Needless to say, I carefully studied the information in this letter and on the website.

Do we have everything we need?

Passports. Check.

My deceased husband’s death certificate. Check.

Proof of residence. Check.

Plus everything else I thought might be necessary as back-up data to prove I’m worthy of marrying an exalted citizen of the United Kingdom: Social Security and bank statements

(I won’t be a financial drain on the British System), driver license, birth certificate. Birth certificates for Peter’s children. And. Having previously dealt with Mexican paperwork, I include multiple copies of each document.

We are prepared.

We think.

On May 18, precisely at noon, we meet Carol, our UK Registry Official.

First question: “Have you booked the venue?”

“Why would we book the venue before we have the government’s blessing?”

The reply: “Permission to marry is ‘venue specific.’”

Has this been referenced in any of the literature?

No.

Let’s clarify:

Before this meeting during which the government requires a full hour of interviews (Peter and I together, then each separately) after which the interviewer sends her recommendation to the home office in London — and then these government personnel review the information and make the final decision: Can we marry in England – or not? And. This decision may come as quickly as 28 days or may perhaps take up to 70 days. (I’m told that since I’m An Immigrant, the decision will take a while.) But – back to the point: Before this meeting in which The Authorities eventually decide our suitability to marry — Before this decision is made for us by a nebulous someone, at an unknown sometime, in London — which could take over two months — We have to book the marriage venue and date?!

This is a joke – right?

They’re serious.

Before Carol can even conduct the interview, we have to secure the exact location and the date.

Is it just me, or is this counter-intuitive?

Book the venue before we even know if we can get married??

Not to mention that nowhere on the website or in any of the informational documents is this “minor detail” listed as a prerequisite.

We can, however, book the Plymouth Registry Office for the wedding.

Great.

Do we want the Quick-and-Simple (my term, not Carol’s) that includes the happy couple plus two witnesses — or do we want the Wedding Party option with a capacity for up to 55 guests? For Quick and Simple, we pay £20 to reserve, then £46 more the day of wedding, plus £4 for each copy of the certificate. The Big Room is £140 plus-plus.

Quick-and-Simple sounds perfect. Problem solved.

Oh — wait.

What if we don’t get approved before the scheduled date? Not to worry. We can change the date for only £10. (Yes. We can change the date — but not the venue.)

Done deal.

Next question:

“Do you have your passport-size pictures?”

Another minor detail not mentioned in the informational documents.

Obviously, we don’t randomly carry passport-size photos in our wallets.

No pictures. No interview.

We can’t complete this necessary part of the process today. But Carol’s willing to check our other documentation to make sure we have everything.

Passports: Fine.

Proof of residence: I produce the Council Tax bill.

Not good enough. There is no mail delivery at our residence because it’s a “holiday home.” Thus, the bill (which references our address) goes to Peter’s sister. I’d anticipated something like this so I brought along the deed and title to our house and all related correspondence. Yes. This is good. (Although we found out later, it’s not. For proof of residence, we need a current energy bill. Go figure.)

My previous husband’s death certificate: I hand her the original, state-certified document. I’m confident. Nothing can go wrong with this.

Carol studies it closely. She’s never encountered one from Colorado before.

Alas. My name on this certificate as wife of the deceased is Mary R. Denton — my maiden name.

“Why the initial R?”

Because my middle name is Raye.

“Why is the name on your passport Mary Denton Jordan?”

Because they only have space for only one middle name; my maiden name makes more sense. It ties together all my accounts.

Long pause. She needs to talk with a superior.

Carol finally returns. “Do you have a copy of your marriage certificate?”

Jim and I were married in 1989. I do have this document – – somewhere in in the bowels of my Tuff Shed on the side of a hill in Colorado, USA. Not terribly convenient.

Frown. “If you don’t have the marriage certificate, do you have another official document to connect the dots: Mary R. Jordan to Mary Denton Jordan?”

Good grief. For many years, I’ve been doing my best to assure that all accounts and documents list me as Mary Denton Jordan.

Luckily, my efforts weren’t totally successful because after searching my computer records (Yes. I brought my computer), I found one account listing me as Mary R .Jordan.

Whew! (Saved from digging through my Tuff Shed nearly halfway around the world.)

So the only thing actually holding us back are the 2”x2” photos.

Can we get them now and come back this afternoon?

Of course not. This is, after all, Wedding Season. Lots of applicants.

Next available appointment is in three weeks – June 5. Then, of course, we have to await The Decision.

But.

We have the venue.

To be continued….





Becoming 70 ~ Not over any hill yet

19 02 2016

Recently, for some reason – Could be my upcoming 70th birthday? – I’m surrounded by reminders of age– a topic I’ve not actively entertained since reaching that milestone of official “adulthood” at age 21. (Although I did have a bout of depression when I was 25: quarter of a century. Yikes!)

But now. Approaching 70?! WTF??!! That’s old.

“Fifty is the new thirty.” “Sixty is the new forty.” But seventy??!

Seventy.

Others’ perceptions of aging — or my reality?

One of this year’s many Birth Month Celebrations on Becoming 70. Or, as my daughters put it: Approaching 21° C

At 70, my life is certainly not “over.” I inherited longevity genes. My mom died at 96 – healthy until the week prior to her death. Lucid ‘til the last day, she reminded me to pay her estimated taxes. Her mother died at 98.

I plan to live every day until the day I don’t.

Zipline over Mexico’s Copper Canyon during my five-day solo train trip a few years ago. “I could not, at any age, be content to take my place in a corner by fireside and simply look on.” Eleanor Roosevelt

I am, however, noticing disturbing bodily evolutions: in rummaging through family photos – I am my mother – my nose becoming a hook, the errant gray hair on my chin mole, neck wrinkles, crazy knots on my knuckles, thick around the middle…. Not that these are totally bad things – but – for God’s sake – -this was my mother. She was old.

I’ve lived a fulfilled life of joys, a few disasters (lessons), and exceptional adventures and memories. Yet – at 70, I’m not resting on these dubious laurels and contemplating past glories from the comfort of my rocker. I’m busy creating new memories in my glorious Now.

Let’s do another 5K run/walk – ride a river raft through the Grand Canyon – or do another just-for-fun Mud Run. Maybe climb another Colorado 14er.

Takes me a tad longer now, but I can still do it.

I travel. A lot. Maximizing standby flight “mom privileges” through my daughter with American Airlines — and particularly relish the quality time  with my incredible Granddaughters.

“There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren

There is a fountain of youth: It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” Sophia Loren

I’m taking language classes, practice yoga and Pilates, and regularly trek up/down the hills of my city.

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I have a younger partner/boyfriend/significant-other. And yes. Peter, my Boy Toy, and I are sexually active. (Shame on Kaiser who stops providing pap smears with annual check-ups at age 60!)

Peter and I plan to fly to England to visit his sister, take a river barge, and explore Europe. We want to visit Viet Nam and Thailand. We’ve driven across magnificent Mexico several times and, this year, we will experience more of its off-the-beaten-track side roads and mountain paths astride his Moto Guzzi motorcycle.

We have intelligent, well-traveled, interesting friends of diverse ages and nationalities with whom we regularly share stimulating conversation as well as travel adventures.

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We laugh. A lot. Every day.

We live on the side of a hill in the vibrant city of Guanajuato in central Mexico. With seven universities and Festival Cervantino, the largest music and arts festival in all of North America, Guanajuato has an abundance of young energy. Yet, my hero is the lady hobbling up the callejón/alley using her walker.

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Ten years ago, to honor my 60th birthday, I got my first (and only) tattoo. Not certain what “act of rebellion” I’ll do at 70. Perhaps I’ll use my travel benefits to circle the globe.

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Tattoo to celebrate Becoming 60.

No. I’m not ignoring the possible physical limitations of the future. I am not, however, defining myself by them.

To date, each of my decades has surpassed the one before. I’m not over any hill yet. I’m just approaching the pinnacle and anticipate exploring the adventures and peaks ahead.

Exploring peaks. Literally. This month, to experience the hundreds-of-thousands of Monarch butterflies in Michoacán, Mexico, friends and I rode horseback up the mountain Cerro Pelón  and then, at around 10,000 feet, hiked the last kilometer which was was too steep for the horse.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Satchel Paige

Inside, I’m the same me I was at age 30, 40, 50.

Or not.

Actually, I’m an ever-improving version of me.

Since I’m in a reflecting mode, I’ll honor a few of the life-altering shifts of recent years. My catalyst for major change originated with a motivational seminar which led to Master Mind groups, introspection, study, and gut-wrenching work to release ridiculous guilt. This allowed me to become the “Inevitable Me” whom I love unconditionally. Then — making the leap to sell my Colorado home and possessions to move to Mexico — enjoying being an unencumbered single woman living in a beachside paradise – then saying “Yes” to sharing the remainder of my life with the man who is truly my joy, inspiration, and soul mate — and moving to Guanajuato, a city snuggled within the Sierra Madre mountains of central Mexico.

And now?

Among the activities, I’m gifting myself time to appreciate each day’s abundance and joy.

Peter and I relish “kitten time” with two little darlings we rescued from the back of an abandoned pick-up truck. Mimi Mews (my Muse?) will snuggle down, mew a bit, pummel my neck with her soft paws, then stretch her little toes. Very endearing. But, even ten years ago, I would probably not have paused to allow this, let alone appreciate it.

Mimi Mews

Mimi Mews

And flowers. We enjoy our Pot Garden on the patio. No, not that kind of pot, although we did have a healthy plant prior to harvest.

Yes. Life is different now than when I was 30.

It’s better. Much better.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." George Burns

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” George Burns

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. Dance as though EVERYBODY is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”
Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass





Simplicity

22 09 2015

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We’re in Mahahual, Quintana Roo – practically the southern-most point of Mexico before entering Belize – working with a little piece of beachfront bliss I’ve had for over 20 years.  (Tales to tell once this project is complete.)

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There’s a reason August-September is “low season” in Mexico’s Riviera Maya and Costa Maya areas – hot, muggy with an abundance of mosquitoes and other biting insects. But the peace, beauty, tranquility, and lovely people are unsurpassed.

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This charming chapel sits at the town’s exit to the south….

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It seats 10 – 12….

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Rather than gilt and gold, this chapel of the people features pottery and plastic.

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Gifts from those who have few possessions but much devotion and love….

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Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

Clare Boothe Luce





The Camote Man

9 06 2014

“Enjoy the little things in life,

for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

Kurt Vonnegut

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Peter and I had about given up on seeing The Camote Man again – when – while enjoying each other, wine, and emerging stars following a pink-sky sunset– an unmistakable screech penetrates the far-off cacophony of barking dogs and the occasional enthusiastic drummer .

“As the lights come on in Guanajuato they are reflected into the night, and we call them stars….” Dennis Pekus

As the lights come on in Guanajuato they are reflected into the night, and we call them stars….
Dennis Pekus

Each Mexican entrepreneur has his own distinctive marketing technique – The lute of the afilador who sharpens knives at your doorstep. Clang-clang on the tank by the gas company rep. “Aaaagggguuuuaaaaa” sings out the water guy. And – amazing to us – is not only listening but watching these men effortlessly heft their wares throughout the severe slopes of Guanajuato, over 6000 feet above sea level. How does that wiry little guy carry four of those five-gallon water garrafónes?

One of many callejones of Guanajuato.

One of many (steep) callejónes/alleys of Guanajuato.

This night, The Camote Man is obviously below us on a better-populated street: Calle Sangre de Cristo. We live far above, near The Panoramica which encircles this historic city. Will he venture this far? We start whistling and yelling to the universe — and anyone else who’s listening: “Arriba! Arriba! Up! Up!”

It was a couple of months ago when we first experienced the taste sensation – not to mention, the visual delight – of a camote (sweet potato) wood-fire-roasted in a Stanley-Steamer-looking device — coals glowing — pushed amidst the callejónes.

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We are in luck this night. The whistle intensifies. Adults and children emerge from darkened doors, 20 pesos in hand, to receive a steaming camote dripping la leche condensada azucarada and canela. We pass on the sweeten condensed milk but request extra cinnamon – then retire inside to slather on mounds of butter and pour more wine.

A delectable camote for only 20 pesos -- about $1.50 USD.

A delectable camote for only 20 pesos — about $1.50 USD.

 Life is grand. We are grateful.

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Mujer de la Verdad

25 08 2013

My friend and I are vacationing where we are possibly the only non-Latin American faces on the crowded malecón, the tourist walkway beside the beach, when I discover that I’ve lost my wallet.

Near-panic ensues — I practically carry my life in that wallet.

Cell phone rings.

¿Es esto Maria Jordan?

Si.

Fast deluge of Spanish I don’t understand.

Working together, we figure it out and meet.

I have named my anonymous caller, Mujer de la Verdad — Woman of Truth. She found my number and, using her own phone minutes, called to return the wallet and its contents.

My friends tell me I’m crazy to live in Mexico. Drug wars. Beheadings. Murders.

I continue to find Beauty. Joy. Peace. And honest, caring People.

I am grateful.

“Genuinely good people are like that. The sun shines out of them. They warm you right through.”  ― Michael Morpurgo, Alone On A Wide Wide Sea

“Genuinely good people are like that. The sun shines out of them. They warm you right through.”
― Michael Morpurgo, Alone On A Wide Wide Sea





I Will Die Living

18 08 2013

One could call me a Retirement Hedonist — living on the Riviera Maya in Mexico, strolling the beach, enjoying yoga, playing with my Grand Babies, exploring my Inner Being, doing some travel….

So why did I sign up for a Spartan Obstacle Race?

Because my daughter Leslie, a Spartan Pro Elite Racer, encouraged me, and my doing this seemed important to her. It also involved a trip to Portland to visit Jessica, my other daughter. And. It was a few months away. No immediacy.

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A great opportunity for Mom-Daughter Time.
Seemed like a good idea at the time.

I’d done The Dirty Girl run twice – great muddy fun. Spartan couldn’t be that much different – could it?

Oh, my.

Leslie’s in the first heat, so we arrive early at the Washougal, Washington, race site. A Spartan Flag flutters and the sun emerges, illuminating the hover of fog over a blanket of lush green. A volunteer waves the way. Race Day.

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Race day.

Observing preparations and absorbing the palatable energy– I realize,

“Damn. These people are serious.”

Elite Pro Women.

Elite Pro Women.

A few of Elite Pro Men.

A few of Elite Pro Men.

 I’m registered for the second day of this two-day event. Saturday, I’m photographing my daughters as they abuse their sculpted bodies and watching them push themselves beyond previously unknown limits.

Leslie:

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Jessica:

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Shell-shocked, I’m secretly scheming:

How can I get out of this? What the hell was I thinking?!

And toward the end of that Saturday:

I can do this. I don’t care how long it takes. I WILL do this.

 Or. Die trying.

Actually: I will die living.

(My new mantra.)

Sunday arrives. Leslie competed with the Pros again and intended to also go again with me. That would entail her completing this rigorous event three times in two days. But she aggravated an old injury, and following her first-place finish, she could barely hobble. The previous day, she lost concentration on the last obstacle, falling off the Traverse Wall. Thus, 30 burpees and dashed hopes of finishing in the Top Three.Leslie ProSpartan Page Header - Version 2

So Jessica – who crossed the finish line 38th of the more than 1000 women who competed on Saturday  – was designated “to look after Mom.”

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The scenery in Washington is glorious. Washougal is nestled in majestic trees and rolling hills (mountains!). The race began with a Tony Robbins/Military style pep rally, “You are a Spartan! Look to the left of you. Look to the right of you. These are your Fellow Spartans! You will not fail! Aroo!”

And we’re off into a burst of smoke bomb.

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Let’s be honest here. I do not run. I walk. But for the sake of image and race photos – I do the obligatory sprint across the Start line. Then settled into my trudge up – severely up – the first half-mile. Across vistas, through trees and the first obstacle: hurdles. Not so bad. If you don’t count form.  All followed by a treacherous rocky-slidey down the same mountain.

While Dirty Girl involves climbing towers of tires, Spartans flip, drag, and push them. Spartans also do the Atlas Carry involving a 60-pound cement block and a requisite five burpees. They carry sand bags up a mountain, then back down. And walls and hurdles, over-unders, and a massive slip-n-slide into frigid muddy water. Dirty Girl had us boosting each other up stacks of straw bales and scrambling through a bit of squishy mud. This Spartan Sprint – only 5k (a loooong 3.5 miles) with 18 obstacles – had us crawling/slipping/grasping/sliding under (real) barbed wire for a full quarter-mile. Uphill. For starters.

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Then. Grab this chain – it’s fastened to a cement block. And get one of those logs. Take them around those trees and back. Together? At the same time? How far?

Leslie calls this the Toddler Obstacle – not totally unlike carrying a sleeping baby while dragging a screaming toddler and balancing bags of groceries. For her: static items such as chains, cement, logs –no problem.

“Need some help, Mom?”

I can do it.

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Although I did accept a “leg-up” for a couple of particularly tall wall-climbs.

I’ve watched my 3- and 5-year-old Grand Daughters shinny up rope cargo ladders at the playground. Those climbs, relative to their heights, must have been just as daunting. In my mind, I can hear 5-year-old Lucy: “You can do it, Nana. Watch me.” But this ladder strung between trees was at least 30-feet high. No safety net — Oh shit. I’m up. Now I have to get my leg over?! — And then, back down.

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I could feel Jessica’s nerves. (Is Mom going to panic and freeze? How do I get her down?)

Oh, ye of little faith. I am doing this. All of this.

I will die living.

Carl Jung wrote about the four archetypes, four stages, that we as humans move through during our adult lifetime:  Athlete (we are preoccupied with our appearance).  Warrior (out to conquer the world and emerge ahead of anyone in the way).  Statesman (our focus turns to serving others to make the world a better place).  Spirit (we realize that we are infinite spiritual beings having a temporary human experience).

My daughters are beautiful, amazing Warrior Women.

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Leslie St. Louis

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Jessica Dover

I’ve also been a Warrior in my own way, raising them, starting and managing my own successful business. And now, I’m relishing my life of being part of, rather than conquering, the world.

And no. I hadn’t trained enough. No way could I even try the rope climb. And I fell flat on my back attempting the Inverted Wall. (Jessica helped me by doing 15 of my 30 burpees for that failed obstacle.) I almost hit the target with the spear throw (“almost” doesn’t count). And perhaps I could have done the Traverse Wall, but not after all the other trudging, crawling, swimming, hurdling, slithering, sliding, climbing that day …. So overall I did about 75 burpees– albeit modified, very slooooow ones.

But. I did it.

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And finished #1 in my age group.

This statistic would be so much more impressive if I could omit the fact I was the only person in my age group (others had more common sense?). However, in this year’s race season, there have been 11 of us Spartans aged 65-69.  Currently, I rank #5.

To add further perspective: On this Sunday, Leslie, a Pro Racer, claimed the First Place female title, clocking in at 50 minutes.  On Saturday, Jessica finished in 1 ¼  hours. The event took me 2 ½ hours.

I can barely move. My knees are raw. Shoulders ache. I limp. I’m still digging mud out of my ears and various orifices.

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In the words of three-year-old Grand Daughter, Sky, who ran a Spartan Kid Race:

“I won!”

Lucy: "I made so many friends in the mud!"

Lucy: “I made so many friends in the mud!”

Sky: "I won."

Sky: “I won.”

Yes. I won.

Not fading away. Living.

So, today?

Do I meditate with a beach sunrise? Or. Attack the world with a Spartan Race?

I will die living.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”   Hunter S. Thompson

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!” Hunter S. Thompson

Related Links:

Although Leslie’s website  and Facebook, Colorado Obstacle Racers, targets events in Colorado, it is also a great source of overall information on obstacle racing, human interest stories, and data applicable to life and wellness —          http://www.coloradoobstacleracers.com/index.html

To experience beautiful writing and a valuable perspective on intention, outcomes and success, read the story of 3-year-old Sky, Eye of the Tiger: My Preschooler Won the Spartan Kid’s Race               http://www.coloradoobstacleracers.com/1/category/leslie%20st%20louisa786cd900c/1.html

Spartan Race site:    http://www.spartanrace.com/index.html

Obstacle Racing Media is a new online e-zine dedicated to the sport:         http://obstacleracingmedia.com/





Weekly Photo Challenge: One Shot, Two Ways

14 08 2013

WordPress, my blog platform, puts forth a weekly Photo Challenge. Following is my interpretation of One Shot, Two Ways:

Mexico is a hallucinogen, snaring me in a massive hug of subtle hues, intense scents, raw intensity of Life….

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Barbara Kingsolver, one of my favorite authors, writes:

“In the afternoon when the sun lights the stucco buildings across the street, it’s possible to count a dozen different colors of paint, all fading together on the highest parts of the wall: yellow, ochre, brick, blood, cobalt, turquoise. The national color of Mexico. And the scent of Mexico is a similar blend: jasmine, dog piss, cilantro, lime. Mexico admits you through an arched stone orifice into the tree-filled courtyard of its heart, where a dog pisses against a wall and a waiter hustles through a curtain of jasmine to bring a bowl of tortilla soup. Steaming with cilantro and lime. Cats stalk lizards among the clay pots around the fountain, doves settle into the flowering vines and coo their prayers, thankful for the existence of lizards….”

The Lacuna ~ Barbara Kingsolver

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My Past. It Lives in a Tuff Shed.

10 08 2013

Monsters under the bed.

Skeletons in the closet.

My Past lives in a Tuff Shed.

I’ve come to believe that at a certain point, life creates a dichotomy.

A dilemma.

Do I maintain my safe, comfortable, familiar life — remain with status quo?

Or.

Experience the life I dream of?

Things I’ve enjoyed throughout my life: Linens. Shiny baubles. Rusty gadgets. Christmas ornaments. Funky hats. Books. The unique, the no-longer-produced, the weird and the wonderful. Hand-crocheted nut cups from the 1940s. Rosebud Haviland china. Depression glass. Silver-plated pewter. Rosepoint crystal. Ginny dolls (predecessor to Barbie). Headboard beneath which my great-grandmother was born. The round 54” claw-foot table that expands to seat 21 at which my grandmother fed a multitude of harvest hands at Threshing Time — at which I fed a multitude of Fab Fam and friends for numerous Thanksgivings. A lovely home nestled in the foothills of the Colorado Rockies.

I also enjoy travel and new experiences. Meeting people. Mountain vistas. Deserted beaches. Sunrises over marshes.  Sunsets on the desert. Undulating fields of wheat. Neighborhood bars in foreign countries. Adventure.  My family and life in Colorado. Friends and lifestyle in Puerto Morelos.  An easy to lock-and-leave, uncluttered, condo near the beach of Mexico’s Riviera Maya.

Precipitated by many of the changes that take place when one proceeds to fifty and beyond, I thoroughly examined and re-invented myself. Actually, with the help of a kick-ass Life Coach, I created the Me I was destined to be.  (Wow. That sounds weighty. )

Growth? Definitely.

Scary? Certainly.

Exciting? Unquestionably.

Worth it? Absolutely.

I sold my business. Bought a condo in Mexico. My husband became ill, then Transitioned. Our family home in Colorado found new owners.

My mother also Transitioned, and my brother (who hadn’t spoken to her in over 40 years) protested her “Irrevocable Trust,” and attacked my integrity as the executor and as her daughter.

All this is now resolved. I am stronger for having had these challenging experiences. I have learned to put things into perspective — to lighten the load — to let go of hurt and anger – to forgive.

During these – and other — upheavals of life, I consciously set a direction:  Simplify my life – release what no longer serves me.

Sounds easy enough. The actual logistics, however, were practically overwhelming.

Take a deep breath. Believe in the Outcome. One step at a time.

Making the decision to release my house – my home for over 20 years – and all the wonderful Stuff in it — was major.

The basement den was delegated for Stuff To Release.

Staring at shelves holding more than 60 years of book acquisitions, here’s a sample conversation with Self:

“I can’t get rid of this book. I love this book.

Mary. Seriously. Will you ever read this book again?

Well. Probably not. Actually. No.

Ever heard of a library?”

Many similar conversations followed by enough trips to Tradesmart, which pays 25-cents to a dollar per book, netted nearly $1000 and a barely a tad of freed-up space.  A beginning.

My daughter Leslie provided the best mantra, “Does this item bring me joy?”

Things that truly bring me joy – into boxes to stash and store.

Gifts to family and friends. Load after load to Salvation Army and women’s shelters. An auction house took two giant truck-loads. Several months later I received an itemized sales list with a not-fat-enough check. Cashed the check, never looked at the list.

And then I inherit my mother’s three-bedroom home with a packed-full-of-stuff two-car garage.

“Children. The time is Now. Take what you want.”

“Mom. We don’t want it.”

I come from a long line of Savers. I have been the repository for All Family Stuff. Thus, in the past year, I have reduced my lifetime of Stuff (No. More accurately: five generations of lifetimes) from two large homes to two 10’x20’storage units. Throughout this time, more sales and give-aways.

Down to only one of these units.

And I still have Stuff.

But as of last month, I’d down-sized to (#1) Stuff That Gives Me Joy and (#2) Stuff I Must Keep, such as tax records, photos, 35-mm slides of family (having discarded thousands of scenic slides early-on).  For me, family photos and slides are “Must Keeps.”

Again and again, I asked myself: Does this item give me joy? Yes.

However. Do I have a place to display, use, or enjoy it? No.

Am I ready to release it? No.

Sigh.

So. Fed up with paying storage rental fees, I invested in a Tuff Shed. Surely my Stuff will fit into 8’x14’.  It does. Barely.

Simplify and Release.

My Stuff has become a metaphor for my life.

I consciously choose:

What to keep.

What to discard.

Stuff.

Ways of Thinking.

Ways of Being.

The Past, of course, is part of Me.

I can bring it out at will.

Rely on it when necessary.

Love it.

Cherish it.

And lovingly tuck it away.

I am neither controlled nor defined by it.

My Past lives in a Tuff Shed.

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